it’s now been 3 and a half months since the challenge ended.
i haven’t written much about clothes since then. mostly because there’s an inner battle going on and i don’t really know what to do with it.
i enjoy reading style blogs; especially those that inspire me to remix and work with what i’ve got. coughaudreycough. but i struggle with feeling like i spend too much time thinking about those things. beyond that, i can’t bring myself to write about them on here much right now, and i struggle even more with buying clothes because sure, i could continue to build my closet and have unlimited adorable outfits…but there’s this nagging thought train in my head.
that train carries with it questions like, “why do i care about this? these things don’t last.”
and rebuttals: “but i want to look cute; it makes me feel put together and then i’m more productive.”
and even more rebuttals: “but there are people who are STARVING and i just spent $20 on a shirt that will join my 7400 other shirts.”
and on and on and on and on it goes.
shouldn’t i care more about people and their needs than about adding on to my closet?
shouldn’t i spend more time focused on who the Lord wants me to become and less on how i look?
shouldn’t i spend my money to bless others rather than myself?
these are the sumo-wrestling thoughts in my head. obviously the answers to those questions are yes, but where is the balance? i realize that i tend to lean toward legalism and want to avoid that equally-dangerous trap.
honestly, i don’t know where the Lord is going with this, but something is changing. it’s scary, but i’m praying that i keep wanting it more than i want my comfort. because comfort is nice and ignorance can feel like bliss.