Let’s Be Hot Messes Together

matthew 23-26

It would be foolish to clean the outside of a dirty bowl and call it clean. {Matthew 23:25-28}

Yet it’s the same thing to clean up the outside of our lives and put on fronts, calling ourselves put together when our insides are a hot mess.

Every day I feel pressure to look put together in every area. I feel it from the outside world, but if I’m honest, even more from myself. It leads me to try my hardest to trick myself into thinking I have it all together so that I can put forth that vibe. It keeps me from sharing what’s really going on because if I don’t know your junk, why would I tell you mine?

As I’ve given more thought to my to do and to be lists, I’ve realized that my need to accomplish so many to do’s is closely tied to making myself feel tied together on the inside. Really, there are a lot of loose ends inside. Pride, jealousy, anger…there’s a part of me that believes if I control the outside of my life, then the inside will be set. But if that’s the case, I’m just addressing the symptoms, not the problem. Granted, making strides to change the symptoms will likely lead to {slow} changes on the inside. But the effective, more lasting route, is to deal with the junk on the inside. This is what is lasting; it will result in greater changes in my life than the quick fix.

So friends, I just want you to know that on the inside, things are a mess. But by the grace of God, He is untangling them and redeeming them for His glory. I’m begging Him to hurry up and make me more like Him- or at least let me get out of His way more often. But I know He is faithful and will complete what He started. I know I’m blessed to have people who are ok with that and don’t expect me to have it all together.

I want to be better at showing that sort of grace. Can we be honest hot messes together? Spilling what’s really going on and not wallowing in it, but encouraging and loving one another out of our junk? Let’s link arms and be reflections of Christ’s grace to each other.

About the Author


  • Rhonda Kay March 27, 2013 at 5:47 AM

    We had a lady share at the recent retreat about how others vunerability had encouraged her to be real herself and to grow. She summed it up by saying “Your crap became my fertilizer.” Thought that was very fitting!

  • Ashley McNeese March 27, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    I have been giving this subject a lot of thought lately. So many Christians have solely focused on outward conformity that inner struggles are never even addressed, much less admitted to. I think that it’s become taboo to admit to questioning or doubting when actually that’s pretty normal. Jesus explained his methods all the time! So, I’m a mess inside too… You’re not alone! :) And yes, there’s a balance to be found between “airing dirty laundry” and being real, but no one has it all together spiritually and shouldn’t be expected to. If even the apostle Paul could say that he had “not yet attained” spiritual maturity, then I doubt any of us can! It’s a process and a journey that takes time, and all change necessitates asking questions or stumbling occasionally.

    Sorry I wrote a book here. ;)

    • Caitlin March 28, 2013 at 4:32 PM

      I’m so glad you did! A very wise book :) I love that you brought up Paul’s ‘not yet attaining.’ It’s easy for me to think of him and other disciples as almost super-human, but they weren’t perfect, either. None of us are!

  • Samantha F. March 27, 2013 at 10:26 AM

    Love this post! (well, I pretty much love all of them) Thank you for sharing and reminding me of what God is doing and what I should be focusing on. :)

    • Caitlin March 28, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      Thanks for taking the time to be so encouraging to me, Samantha! I’m honored He’s using what I’m learning to encourage you.

  • Selah March 27, 2013 at 5:57 PM

    Yep, I’m a hot mess too. Some days I just have to stop and remember this favorite quote:
    On really bad times, I’m thinking this at 8:00 am!

    • Caitlin March 28, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      Ha! That is a good one. Thank goodness for new mercies every morning!!

  • okna drewniane Wrocław January 31, 2014 at 12:27 AM

    Hi! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group?
    There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your
    content. Please let me know. Many thanks

Leave a Reply