this week i found myself wanting to throw things at my closet until it produced something new. something i haven’t worn before. something pretty, shiny, and/or sparkly. (it’s not working.)

yes, this year has been refreshing and yes, it’s opened my eyes to how blessed i am and the fact that i don’t need more things. but sometimes i’m ready to be done being “refreshed” and gosh darn it sometimes i just want more!

as i’ve wrestled with my thoughts this week, i’ve begun to realize that at the root of my addiction to shopping lie selfishness and dissatisfaction.

selfishly, i want more- for myself- and far more often than i want things for others.

and when i’m dissatisfied, it’s easy to buy a new top to get a quick pick me up rather than admit there’s an underlying issue, much less pray about that issue or talk to someone about it. much easier.

so here’s to realizing that what i have- it’s enough. even if i never bought another piece of clothing or any type of accessory, i would still be me. maybe a slightly disheveled and faded me, but me, nonetheless.

man. who knew shopping (or lack there of) could be so deep?

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  • Audrey @ Putting Me Together October 17, 2012 at 9:02 PM

    It’s so deep, friend. Because so many things are wrapped up in it–image issues, control over / surrender of spending money, entitlement to what we can or cannot have or what we “deserve”…and not to mention that shopping is often a coping mechanism for avoiding processing our emotions. I love the journey you’re on and am so grateful that you are sharing it. I think I’ve said it before, but you deciding to face those things and let God purify you in all of those ways is BRAVE. Honestly, it’s something we all struggle with in some way or another but most of us don’t dare go there and invite the Lord into it.

    • Caitlin October 19, 2012 at 3:57 PM

      You are so right. There are lots of layers to it. Thanks for your sweet words, Audrey! You don’t know what an encouragement you are to me.

  • the martinos October 18, 2012 at 5:32 AM

    I too use to be addicted to shopping… and I mean ADDICTED! It wasn’t until I surrounded myself with the extreme “true” needs of others that I was able to kick the habit. When you see kids that wearing ripped clothes, no coats in the winter, shoes with holes, pants with holes, stomachs that have ate nothing or at best ramen noodles for days, kids who’s parents are never home and leave them to fend for themselves, parents who are constantly choosing to feed addictions over feeding their kids, and all of this while still expecting them to function civilly in school and on the streets…. and this is in America not a foreign country… That’s when my closet really didn’t matter anymore. The focus was off me and off them. I knew I was blessed and it was time to get to work. I now try to sell my clothes in order to provide more for them, after all im already completely clothed in strength and dignity by the creator of this world!! That becomes enough. The focus has to get off ourselves: 1 John 3:16-18

    (By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.)

    This verse has to matter more to us than a good feeling over a fashionable outfit… The needs are there but if we avoid seeing the need I don’t think God is going to just exempt us from this verse. After all when we get to heaven God is going to say well done my good and fashionable servant. Surround yourself by the needs of others, they won’t care about your outfit. Your smile and personality and the fact that you are the light of the world and you are clothed in Jesus Christ will far outshine any outfit or accessory you ever wear!!

  • Essence October 18, 2012 at 7:48 AM

    I am utterly and fullly encouraged by you. I deeply appreciate your openness and vulnerability. This post has assisted me in my walk with Christ more than you know.
    Way to serve =]

    • Caitlin October 19, 2012 at 3:59 PM

      Essence, thank you so much for taking the time to tell me that. I am honored that the Lord used it in your walk with Him. I pray that you will continue to follow hard after Him! Have a great weekend, sister :)

  • Sarah Tucker October 18, 2012 at 9:17 AM

    I can’t wait to have you help me through this journey next year! I am nervous, but you’ve inspired me! (Which is why I have been stocking up on goods for the past couple weeks! Hey, if I am not going to shop for a year, I need to get the essentials now!)

    • kat October 19, 2012 at 7:31 AM

      That’s awesome Sarah!
      Don’t feel bad about “stocking up,” Caitlin and I were frantically shopping in Goodwill just days before Jan. 1! :)

      • Caitlin October 19, 2012 at 3:59 PM

        So true, so true. I’m proud of you, Sarah, and the way that you’re allowing the Lord to mold you! We need to have dinner soon. Maybe next Tuesday before the game??

  • Kirsten October 25, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Oh man. You hit the nail on the head for me!
    I have that too often. I feel sad, I shop. I feel happy, I shop. Isn’t it just a vicious cycle?
    And it all stems from a feeling of not feeling like what we have is enough.
    And that selfishness.
    Oh how we need God right?!


    • Caitlin October 25, 2012 at 7:23 PM

      You said it, sister!

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