brutal honesty (day 9)

day nine.

most of the week i was feeling blah about this challenge, but i’ve honestly grown to love it. getting ready is much simpler with less clothing to choose from. the pieces i’ve chosen are some of my favorites, and i’m remixing them in ways i hadn’t thought of before. (my inspiration pinboard has been handy for that!)

one of my biggest goals (for both the year-long challenge and the june challenge) is to quit caring so darn much about clothes. to be honest, i felt like i had a handle on that within the year-long challenge, but for some reason this june one has caused my idolatry to rear its ugly head. with only 11 pieces, i’ve been thinking more about clothing, worrying that the outfit i felt great in all day didn’t look as good as i’d thought, stressing over whether you all would like it, blah blah blah.

ick.

i know it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. i just always seem to get caught up in it.

i hate even admitting these things, but i want to be honest about my struggles on this journey. i don’t want to paint the picture in a false light just to make myself look better. (which believe me, is a huge temptation!) the simple truth is that clothing has been an idol for me and i’m praying the Lord would smash that into pieces this year.

i realize this post contains contradictory thoughts, but that’s how the process has been for me. i’ll make a step forward then take one back, gain strength then have a little breakdown.

my pride would rather tell you, “it’s all good! this is easy. i’m not idolizing clothes any more!” but it’s still a struggle. month 6 is revealing my true colors- for which i’m frustrated but thankful. i’d rather know where i’m at than have a false sense of security/victory.

will the next 6 months break me of this struggle? no idea. i hope so. at the very least, it has opened my eyes and is teaching me how to deal with it.

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6 Comments

  • kat June 9, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    I love your honesty! And you know I’m right there with you! There was another shirt at the attic that I was drooling over…luckily a lovely lady picked it up and I know it’s going to a good home (although I was a little jealous!)

    • Caitlin June 10, 2012 at 7:33 AM

      I know. I’m SO glad we’re tackling this challenge together! Way to be strong at The Attic. I’m proud of you!

  • Ruth June 9, 2012 at 3:42 PM

    Cait you are beautiful inside and out. (the second pic of this outfit seriously looks like a page in an anthropologie catalog!) your vulnerability and honesty make you even more beautiful. I know it is hard but there is nothing God despises more than false righteousness (the Pharasees)! So keep it up!

    • Caitlin June 10, 2012 at 7:33 AM

      Ruth, I love you. Thanks so much for the encouragement. Miss you, sweet friend!

  • Selah June 9, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    My pastor did a sermon last week about smashing idols (if you’re really interested you can watch at GSUMC.org). He even smashed a plate on stage as an illustration.
    I love reading your blog because you are honest and you challenge me to think about things differently. I am loving this challenge because my favorite thing about fashion blogs is remixing :)
    That last photo is incredibly beautiful! Those colors are lovely on you.

    • Caitlin June 10, 2012 at 7:34 AM

      Selah, I am always up for listening to a sermon. I’m definitely going to check it out. Thanks for telling me about it- and the encouragement, too!

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